New Delhi: Rahi Sarnobat recalls that autumn day of 2022 with clarity. Indian shooters, following a medalless Tokyo Olympics campaign a year before, were gearing up for the Cairo World Championships and Rahi, still carrying the scars of Tokyo, couldn’t wait for the first Olympic qualifier of the new cycle.
One morning in the lead-up to the competition, Rahi woke up with no control of her right leg. “I couldn’t move the leg the way I wanted to, and there was this constant tingling pain. I didn’t even know which specialist to approach, who to talk to” she says. It was just the start of a harrowing 18 months for the ace pistol shooter.
Diagnosed with neuropathic pain syndrome, Rahi felt “a million different sensations” all over her body, “from my eyelashes to my toe”. The shooting range and the World Championships were pushed to the backburner as her physical and mental health became Rahi’s only concern.
“The pain was unbearable. There are no words to describe it. All of a sudden, there would be a tingling sensation in my leg, then there would be a sharp, needling pain in my arms, then a stabbing pain in my back. It felt endless, horrible and scary.”
“There are no clear reasons for this condition,” says Rahi, 34. She suspects Covid-19 did have a role to play. Rahi got Covid twice, before and after getting vaccinated, but competed at the Osijek World Cup and Tokyo Olympics without any discomfort.
Once the neuropathic pain hit her, there was no let-up. Sitting on her couch, the Kolhapur-born Rahi would feel her body sink in quicksand. Sometimes, she would feel drenched in rain on a perfectly sunny day. “I felt I would go crazy. I had no idea what was happening to me.”
“This syndrome thrives on fear. If you’re scared, you’ll feel more symptoms and the vicious circle will go on. It is really tough to snap out of it.”
While medication did help alleviate the pain, Rahi’s recovery was largely down to her resolve. And psychological advice. “As an athlete, we are conditioned to not give up. My neurologist told me he has seen patients take 5-6 years to come out of this condition and that there are no fixed timelines. So, I decided to do something about it.”
That meant Rahi would call each of her four physiotherapists on different days, “just so that I have a new person to share my feelings with everyday.” There were routine sessions with a Germany-based psychologist – whose name, Rahi says, she is not permitted to disclose – who helped her take the situation in her stride. And there was Paris Olympics to look forward to.
Rahi began shooting in her domestic range in Pune by the end of 2023 but just standing still at the firing point was a challenge. The neuro-muscular memory had been wiped out, as was the ‘feel’ of equipment.
“I didn’t have the physical strength or the focus to stand still for five minutes. I had to create those neuropathic pathways again. It was a slow process but my physios, gym trainers and psychologist were all there to support me,” she recalls.
Rahi competed at the four-stage selection trials but missed the ticket to Paris. She saw Manu Bhaker end Indian shooting’s medal drought at the Games, a feat she says inspired her to bounce back. She shed 20kg, tweaked her grip, redid her trigger, and announced her comeback at the ongoing national championships.
“It couldn’t have been any other way. These months have taught me the value of little things in life,” says Rahi, who took third place in her pet 25m event at the nationals.
Once a force in her discipline, the only Indian woman to shoot a 25m pistol gold at the Asian Games now has new domestic challengers to deal with. Double Olympic medallist Bhaker, Asian Games silver medallist Esha Singh, and the up-and-coming Simranpreet Kaur Brar promise tons of quality while young Riya Shirish, by virtue of her national crown, has thrown her hat in the ring too.
“India is lucky to have such a strong bunch of youngsters. As I chart my way back, I want these girls to challenge me and make me a better athlete,” she says.
“Having said that, sport is not my priority anymore. Of course, I want to compete and win, but just having a normal, pain-free life is what I am looking forward to. I will be off medication soon, and it’ll be the most significant win of my life. If I can come back from whatever I have been through, dealing with the sport is hardly an issue.”
