Rio Ferdinand slammed over PSG v Aston Villa coverage

“Do not go for a punditry job because I could be out of the game!” Rio Ferdinand told Prince William after the Prince of Wales analysed the task facing Aston Villa ahead of their clash with Paris Saint-Germain. We think we speak for everyone watching TNT Sports’ coverage on Wednesday in hoping against hope that his Royal Highness hands in an application. 

Before Youri Tielemans found Morgan Rogers to open the scoring at the Parcs des Princes in the 35th minute, Aston Villa had enjoyed one touch in the Paris Saint-Germain box – a harmless Jacob Ramsey cross after Gianluigi Donnarumma came and flapped at a free-kick booted into the box from 40 yards away. It was exactly how Unai Emery dreamt it.

Attempt to play this PSG at their own game and his side would have been destroyed. The best bet – the only bet – was to stay in the game and hope for a moment. PSG had by that point had 19 touches in Villa’s box, as well as eight shots and 297 passes to Villa’s 97. The hosts were dominant but had been kept at arm’s length by a side playing better without the ball than they were with it.

There didn’t seem to be any particular press trigger to spark John McGinn’s charge at the seemingly indomitable Nuno Mendes, rob of him of possession and knock him off his feet – the Scot had clearly decided having chased his tail for half an hour that he would at worst take man, with ball an added bonus.

He used it brilliantly, finding Marcus Rashford, who waited for Youri Tielemans’ inside run beyond him, before the Belgian played the ball across the face of goal to where he knew Morgan Rogers would be, because Rogers is almost always where he’s needed. Almost.

He’ll get closer to Desire Doue next time. The young Frenchman took full advantage of the couple of extra yards he was granted by Rogers to front him up, cut inside and whip a stunning off-balance shot in off the underside of the bar as Emi Martinez did that crouched look over the shoulder thing goalkeepers do when facing unstoppable efforts.

It was a very good goal from a very good player, we’re not saying it wasn’t or he isn’t, but our enjoyment of that moment, Doue’s performance and the experience of watching this game in general was checked by the orgasmic howls of the teenage gamer on co-commentary, to the point where we were begging Khvicha Kvaratskhelia to stop embarrassing opponents to avoid further anger-inducing soundbites. We’re all being merked.

“Ally, the stud roll, the stud roll. Disasi left the building,” Rio Ferdinand said as Kvaratskhelia turned Axel Disasi inside out to score the second majestic PSG goal of three on the night, as we cursed TNT Sports for the lack of the stadium sounds option provided by Amazon Prime, whose coverage requires no such alternative.

Because we aren’t forced to listen to a grown man talk about football like he’s a 16-year-old selling bodybuilding supplements on TikTok shop. If Ferdinand wasn’t being paid handsomely in a punditry career acting as an extension of his 2006 World Cup Wind-Ups show he would be be making ‘Welcome to Manchester United: All Skills and Goals’ videos on YouTube and finger slapping while filming himself opening packs of panini stickers.

MORE ASTON VILLA COVERAGE ON F365
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👉 Aston Villa plot ‘strategic’ snare of £47m Liverpool star with Reds opening route for them

He loves football, which is great. We love football too. But we love football far less when hearing Ferdinand ooo-ing on the brink of climax after a wonder-goal when what we actually want is at most a few words from the commentator after nothing at all from anyone as we take in the noise from the fans and the joy of the players while we come to terms with what we’ve just seen.

Which was brilliant. PSG are a very, very good football team, excellent with and without the ball, made up of extraordinarily talented footballers who have a very good chance of winning the Champions League thanks to the work-rate and commitment to a philosophy that was so often lacking in previous groups of extraordinarily talented footballers they’ve had over the last decade.

At 2-1 we didn’t quite fancy Villa to progress but it felt like a result Emery may well have taken at kick-off ahead of the second leg at Villa Park, but the stoppage-time third for PSG was a real gut punch.

It was our favourite goal though. Not because of the perfectly-weighted defence-splitting pass from Ousmane Dembele or the chop back from Nuno Mendes from his favoured left foot to his right before sweeping his shot over Martinez, but because it was preceded by four very welcome words from commentator Darren Fletcher to afford us some peace as the game reached it’s conclusion: “We’ve lost Rio now.”