My favourite Benjamin Disraeli story – in a crowded if largely apocryphal field – comes from a dinner party the then prime minister attended in the late 1870s. War is raging in the Balkans, and with public opinion overwhelmingly in favour of a British intervention, the mood at the table is understandably tense. Eventually one guest, unable to bear the awkward silence any longer, bursts out: “Mr Disraeli, what are you waiting for?”
“At this moment, madam,” Disraeli replies, “the potatoes.”
I ended up thinking about this story quite a bit during the 0-0 draw at Villa Park on Sunday afternoon, which tells you pretty much everything you need to know about a game defined – to an unusual degree – by waiting. Waiting for United to take a goal kick to André Onana. Waiting for Onana to then decide what to do with the ball. Waiting for the ball to land after another soaring clearance. Waiting for corners and free-kicks and substitutions.
Waiting for five minutes near the end for the referee Robert Jones to change his VAR radio. Waiting for anything to happen, the lightning bolt of divine prerogative that would somehow make all the waiting worthwhile.
Which, of course, it never did. This is the beauty of football, particularly league football: it offers no guarantees. Nothing has to happen. Your hard work often goes unrewarded. You do not always get the thing you deserve. Most shots miss their target, most attacks peter out, most corners come to nothing, most cup runs end in failure and statistically speaking this is almost certainly not going to be “your year”.
By now the hierarchy of Manchester United will be aware that this is not going to be their year either, not that they needed to sit through 97 minutes of Midlands coma to work that out. Last month their chief executive, Omar Berrada, claimed with an entirely straight face that United were targeting the 2027-28 Premier League title, an objective that somehow manages to feel wildly ambitious and wildly unambitious at the same time.
Erik ten Hag offered a similar prognosis in his press conference here, addressing questions about United’s lack of potency and cohesion with a promise that “one day it will click”. Right now United feel like a club locked in a holding pattern, offering up comforting visions of the future as an antidote to the misrule of the present.
Waiting for things to click. Waiting because on some level they have convinced themselves that waiting carries its own intrinsic virtue. Waiting because Alex Ferguson got time, and so all United managers must get time. Waiting because these are serious men, and serious men do not rush.
In the meantime a club marooned in the bottom half of the table has to approach these games with a certain humility. A point at Aston Villa, in the circumstances, is an excellent result. Does it tell us very much about Ten Hag’s team beyond that? Not sure. Villa, perhaps understandably after the sugar rush of Bayern Munich last Wednesday night, were actually pretty poor: ponderous in buildup, not creative enough in the United half, the final ball often woeful.
Allied to which, we need to acknowledge that this was a United team sent out – above all – not to lose. In defence Jonny Evans and Harry Maguire were reunited in a surprising tribute to the Leicester City backline of 2018-19. On the flanks Marcus Rashford and later Antony were almost auxiliary full-backs at times, as preoccupied by the threat of Lucas Digne than anything they might be able to conjure themselves. Ten Hag’s pride at a fourth clean sheet in the league the season was a pretty good barometer of his priorities.
And all this is offered not as criticism but merely as observation. Slow, painstaking, often fitful improvement is the only way this festering ghost ship is ever going to right itself. Sometimes it’s going to work, sometimes you’re going to grind out 0-0 draws away from home, sometimes Rasmus Højlund is going to spend the entire game running away from the ball like a scared cat – and sometimes it’s going to be all three. Patience is an admirable trait. But let’s not pretend it earns you anything on its own.
United have an executive board meeting in London for Tuesday, a scheduled diary event that will nonetheless be described in the media as a “crunch meeting”, a “crisis summit”, “Ten Hag sack talks” and so on. Perhaps if the manager is moved on, there may also be some scrutiny of the decision to offer him a new contract in July, after spending a good portion of the summer undermining what was left of his authority.
The likeliest prescription, by contrast, is probably a little more waiting. A little more commitment to the process. A little more standing firm, maintaining their focus, sticking to the plan, even if that plan has so far yielded five goals in seven games, 14th in the table and a centre-back pairing out of an ITV2 detective drama.
What are they waiting for? At this moment, it’s not entirely clear.