Gareth Thomas played 100 times for Wales at rugby union and four at rugby league. He spent the last few years of his career,hoping to illuminate the subject of sexuality. He retired in 2011 after his club – Wrexham-based Crusaders – withdrew from Super League and injury ruled out leading Wales against England, New Zealand and Australia in the Four Nations. He was the only “out” gay male player from around 3,500 first team professionals at nearly 150 British rugby, football and cricket clubs. That figure still remains at one. Progress is glacial.
The former Bridgend, Cardiff and Toulouse centre first spoke publicly about having HIV five years ago. Now 50, and physically well, Thomas was taken to court by a former partner who accused him of infecting him with HIV. Thomas settled in early 2023 but maintained his innocence and said he settled without any admission of liability due to the costs involved of fully defending himself.
He is now trying to raise awareness of HIV and its risks among oblivious youngsters – especially rugby players and fans. “I didn’t know what a campaigner really does. Do I wear a green anorak and shout: ‘Power to the people’?” asks Thomas. “It’s an uneasy conversation. A lot of people believe this isn’t needed for them; they have no space for it in their memory bank.”
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) were up above 400,000 in the UK last year. Young people are the most affected, more females than males live with it, and more heterosexuals were diagnosed than gay men. And yet sexual health charity Terrence Higgins Trust research says half of 18- to 24-year-olds don’t think they are at risk. The THT believes education could save 440,000 deaths this decade.
You’ve taken the TackleHIV bus to the Rugby World Cup in France, freshers’ weeks at universities and Harlequins. How did reactions vary? “Surprisingly it’s not that different. The overwhelming theme is people have no idea. We think of the younger generation as more open but they come in groups, want to make good impressions and play a certain character. You see the same in everyday society. People want to know more, but feel guilty by association. One difference is students want to hear the facts: the older generation have to unthink what’s already ingrained. A first year medical student came onto the bus believing HIV could be transmitted from using the same knife and fork as someone with it. That’s what he’d been told by his family, not the facts. Why would he think any different?”
Why is it important to get face to face with rugby players and fans? “We try to infiltrate places where it is really relevant. Who’d expect to see this in a rugby fans village, where everyone’s drinking, yet they engaged in the conversation. You need to be on ground level. The research shows that half of 18- to 24-year-old men think they don’t need a test for HIV when in reality they’re one of the highest risk groups. If the only conversation is over a pint in the bar or in the rugby changing rooms with the boys – who really don’t know anything so just say the misinformed, stigmatised thing – they don’t know how far medical science has come.”
What did you talk to the male and female student players about? “Mainly about their responsibility as leaders, to be an ally to a community. To destigmatise is not just something you do in front of your teacher cos it gets you a good mark, it’s a lifestyle choice you have to make in uncomfortable environments. I asked the boys what they do when people in the dressing room use discriminatory words or misinformation. They all said: ‘We don’t say anything.’ An ally talks up in uncomfortable situations, to stand up for people. That’s the one thing they learned.”
You admit you deliberately missed your first Wales RU training session because you were terrified. Do you think other players were just as daunted? “Absolutely. Every single one of them was putting on an act of some sort. Most would admit that now. As you get older you realise acknowledging weakness is a strength. So many of the barbaric, tough, non-negotiator types were playing a character that society expected them to live up to, when the reality of who they were was completely different. That stereotypical version of a testosterone-filled rugby dressing room still very much exists. It’s exactly the same.”
Are young players now getting more support than you did? “They’re still not getting understanding. People don’t realise that transitioning from an 18-year-old who’s never left Bridgend to a 19-year-old playing for Wales and going to South Africa to a World Cup is absolutely petrifying. People don’t allow you to feel fear. They say: ‘I’m telling you, this is what you want, get your head down and get on with it and be the best version of yourself.’ But you can’t be because you’re not allowed to be the version of yourself that’s petrified. Allowing people to be authentic is the biggest thing.”
What do you wish you had known as a young player? “You train really hard for some fleeting moments which are the relevant difference between you being good and great. Up to that drop kick [in the 2003 Rugby World Cup final] Jonny Wilkinson is good. After it, he’s great. That moment needs to be based 100% on your own authenticity. Whatever emotion they feel – vulnerability and negativity, or strength and positivity – they should be allowed to live it.”
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In your autobiography Proud you dismiss the 1999 Rugby World Cup in a few paragraphs, but spend several pages on winning rugby league’s Euros in 2010 … “I didn’t want to relive ’99. That was full of moments that were not nice. But that rugby league experience was the reverse. There was so much about being in Albi [where Wales beat France to lift the title], sitting in a room full of people who know who you are 100% – not 99.9 or 80 or 70 – and celebrate because everyone’s allowed to be authentic and is so happy for that moment in time. Yet you know you’ve done it for a country that didn’t even know we’d put that jersey on! That was so, so special.”
You’ve said rugby nearly killed you but has given you a life. Has your sexuality/ post-rugby experience and HIV done the same? “Rugby broke me down but I managed to rebuild myself stronger. A life has only been lived when you’ve been to breaking point and you realise you’ve had the strength to get back up and keep going, to not be silenced, not be cancelled, to continue and keep rebuilding. That’s a life lived. You’ve found out how strong you are. You have to be broken to know how to rebuild. I learned that in rugby. I’m the strongest and best I’ve ever been.”
Tackle HIV is a campaign led by Gareth Thomas in partnership with ViiV Healthcare and Terrence Higgins Trust. For more information visit tacklehiv.org and follow @tacklehiv
