GO ON, COUNT THEM!
As there was nobody around to pull the lever on Big Website’s tried and trusted “Premier League: 10 things to look out for this weekend” feature, the task of flagging up what we suspect may be particular points of interest in assorted top-flight matches being played over the next three days has been delegated to Football Daily. We would otherwise be content to adopt a more whatever-will-be, wait-and-see approach before devoting Monday’s edition of the world’s most daily football email to a lengthy treatise on the fairness, or lack thereof, of the decision taken by Southampton/Tottenham to hand Russell Martin/Ange Postecoglou their P45 and have them bounced out the door marked ‘Do One’. So, without further ado, here is what we will be looking out for this weekend:
1) The potential disappearance of a statue: Having used up more than a quarter of their season’s quota of goals in the midweek win over Wolves, Everton welcome Liverpool for what is highly likely to be the last ever Merseyside derby played at Goodison Park. After 119 games between the two sides at the famous old ground, the score currently stands at 41 wins each (there have been 37 draws), which means whoever comes out on top gets to keep the statue of Dixie Dean which stands outside the stadium’s Park End.
2) A glum Joe Lumley: Having finally returned to winning ways against a Brentford side whose record away from home has now entered the realms of the supernaturally bad, Unai Emery’s side are preparing to welcome a similarly charitable Southampton this weekend. The sight of Ollie Watkins wheeling away in celebration after picking the pocket of the latest Saints defender to receive a hospital pass from their forlorn goalkeeper will not be a huge surprise.
3) Another scoring spree in west London: The unlikely fortress that is the Gtech Community Stadium plays host to Newcastle, who have shown us their very best, their worst and a little in-between in their past three matches. Expect a second consecutive thriller involving the Mags, from which the unbeatable home force that is Brentford emerge victorious by the odd goal in 13.
4) The end of Erling Haaland’s goal drought: With just 17 goals to his name this season and on a barren streak of two whole games, expect Manchester City’s striker to return to form at Crystal Palace. The burly Norwegian has scored in each of his three appearances against the team from Selhurst Park and in total has five goals to his name against Saturday’s opposition.
5) Potentially empty seats at Old Trafford: The new regime’s mid-season hike of ticket prices has not gone down well with Manchester United’s matchgoing fans, some of whom appear to be voting with their feet. The sight of Premier League match tickets for the club’s home games on open sale is rarer than that of hen’s teeth, but at the time of writing there are plenty available for Saturday’s match against Nottingham Forest. Good work, Big Sir Jim.
6) An animated Arteta: Having seen his side put in a breathtakingly awful performance at Craven Cottage around 12 months ago, expect Arsenal’s manager to be particularly animated as his players return to the scene of one of last season’s more ignominious defeats.
7) The busker who got lucky: While Ipswich Town’s home performances have been up and down, the one constant is the now customary TV cutaway to their celebrity fan Ed Sheeran in the Portman Road stands. Expect the potential for several more when they host Bournemouth.
8) The turtleneck derby: Leicester v Brighton. Ruud v Fabian. Who will prevail in the battle of the expensive high-necked knitwear?
9) Tottenham doing Tottenham things: Following their dismal showing against Bournemouth on Thursday, expect Spurs to get their season temporarily back on track with a bravura statement home victory over Chelsea before quickly derailing it again with back-to-back defeats at the hands of Rangers and Southampton.
10) El Sackico: West Ham host Wolves on Monday, with the losing manager almost certain to be handed a multi-million pound payout and given Christmas off. It’s good work if you can get it.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
The event is going to be incredible. I will try and be there if I can, I would, we’ll see what happens. But I just want to say you’re led by a man named Gianni [Infantino], I just know him as Gianni and he’s a winner and he’s the president and I’m the president. We’ve known each other a long time and I’m so honoured to have this kind of relationship because soccer is going through the roof as everybody knows” – Donald Trump, there, giving The Fifa Man [David Squires™] a rigorous ego-massage while also seemingly swearing himself into the White House a month early at the draw for the Club World Cup. As appearances at cup tombolas go, it was never going to match his role in the 1991 Milk Cup draw.
The latest book by David Squires, Chaos in the Box, is out now! Get a £3 discount by ordering it here.
Can we please launch a ‘Save Ange, Mate’ campaign to offset this sort of thing from Spurs fans. Watching them get absolutely hammered 1-0 by Bournemouth with the only thing saving them a humiliating scoreline being Bournemouth’s profligate strikers was absolutely hilarious. Following on from them losing to Ipswich and hammering Manchester City, I say ‘long live Spursyness’!” – Noble Francis.
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