THE JUGGLER
Well that de-escalated quickly. It took seven minutes for Ollie Watkins to score England’s opening goal in Greece on Thursday night, prompting those who had savaged Lee Carsley for having the effrontery to pick a prolific goalscorer in a relatively unimportant game to be confronted with the confusing thought that their pre-match keyboard posturing may not have been entirely proportionate. The Watkins volte-face, although we should really call it a volte-farce given the buffoonery of the more extreme protagonists, symbolised another peculiar night in Carsley’s interim reign. He’ll go down in history as England’s BFG: their Bald Fraud/Genius, with one of the nouns to be deleted depending on what has happened in the last 60 seconds and which way your knee is jerking at the time. The bald bit is non-negotiable.
Carsley’s short time in charge has largely been defined by anger, yet there is a decent argument that it has worked out perfectly. Football management is always about balancing the present and the future, and Carsley – with one or two wobbles, because he’s a human being and they are hardwired to make the occasional mistake – has juggled the two like Penn Jillette. Or was it Teller? Never mind, that’s not the point. England will win their Nations League group provided they don’t screw up at home to Ireland on Sunday; and by opening the shop doors as wide as they can go, Carsley has bequeathed Thomas Tuchel the kind of information that only real-life association football matches can provide.
Carsley gave certain members of the football incelligentsia what they wanted at home to Greece, a team made up entirely of No 10s, and they lost. BF. On Thursday he showed England can function without Harry Kane and that Watkins is a very good striker. BG. He has also given out multiple debuts, mostly to players who look comfortable in an England shirt. BG. There are gazillions of sane, measured England fans; it’s just they can’t get a word in edgeways because of the army of digital bampots that the media inexplicably enables. We include ourselves in that, even if Football Daily doesn’t need to come off TwiXer as it hasn’t been on there in a very long time. And since you asked, we give Bluesky three months before everyone starts shouting at the little fluffy clouds. What are you so happy about? We’re heading for World War III, show some respect and start dropping some rain.
While Carsley’s inner monologue after Watkins’ goal could justifiably have consisted solely of the letters FURB, the moment that gave him most joy was surely debutant Curtis Jones’s delightful late flick, which could only have been improved by Barry Davies being on commentary and delivering one of his catchphrases: “Lovely goal! Lovely goal!” Jones scored the winner for Carsley’s U21 team against Spain in the final of last year’s European Championship final. At the end of the Greece game, Carsley embraced him with paternal pride and broke into the kind of smile you can’t fake. For about 30 seconds, his mind was entirely clear of all the stresses and nonsense of the last few months: not singing the national anthem, those team selections, whether he wanted the job. Soon, Carsley will be back where he belongs: coaching young players, helping them thrive, revelling in their success, a world away from the post-empathy madhouse that the England football team has become.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s been mental. They went to adjust the queue at the front to make it narrower and longer and just did it with force. They were pushing the crowd amongst the fence. They ultimately treat us like animals, then act the victim if there’s retaliation” – England fan Jack Loftus on his experience in Athens after the FA and FSA launched investigations into the actions of Greek police.
I’m obliged to you for drawing my attention to the sad passing of John Dempsey (yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition). As my own London-based mob were in the lower divisions, I would take advantage of the local transport and watch Division One (as was) outfits when we were away from the Den on a Saturday, and saw him play a number of times. Many years later I managed a day centre and, as the only sports fan in the staff group, would turn out in competitions with other day centres for people with learning disabilities, joined by one staff member per team. When an opposing side called my opposite number ‘Dempsey’, it was clear to me who he was. As tempting as it was for each staff member to become Brian Glover in Kes for the day, it was clear ‘Dempsey’ was naturally committed to coaching, encouraging and including people to enjoy participating and competing. While many of his contemporaries were off running pubs, there he was quietly ‘putting back into the game’ in a gloriously understated way. A fine player, a lovely man for sure” – Michael Lloyd.
Re: Ric Arthur’s complaints about ‘the door marked Do One’ (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). Let me join 1,056 others to note that if they’re vexed by Football Daily using expressions that are ‘overused’, ‘trite’ and ‘tedious’, he can’t be very familiar with your back catalogue” – Richard Stirzaker (and 1,056 others).
Internet browsing today, I found this wonderful series of photos from a different age (I know the Glenn Hoddle one has been referenced here before, quite a bit). I am concerned, though, that Phil Neal took the time to get the right clobber but no one showed him how to set the balls up in the right place” – Andy Morrison.
Re: yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs (full email edition). As much as I respect Diego Forlán for changing sport, you’d think he’d be good at tennis, given he spent much of his time at Manchester United putting the ball over the net at speed?” – Kev McCready.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Kev McCready, who lands their very own piece of Football Weekly merch. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
