NOT SO HOTSPUR
Since comfortably beating Aston Villa at the start of November, Tottenham Hotspur have won only two of the 11 Premier League matches they’ve contested. Well, played in or at least turned up for. Indeed, a good lawyer might argue that technically they haven’t really won any because one of the aforementioned victories came against peak b@nter era Manchester City, while not even Spurs were capable of doing anything other than swat the current Southampton rabble aside, a feat that is not so much something to be proud of, but more the equivalent of helping yourself to the pennies covering a dead man’s eyes. Having taken just eight points from their previous 10 games, Ange Postecoglou’s knack-depleted team went into Wednesday night’s north London derby as firm underdogs … and duly lived down to their billing.
Despite taking a first-half lead with what would prove their final shot on target, they did little else to ensure that their Australian manager would conduct his post-match interviews while staring forlornly at his brogues in the style to which he, assorted interrogators and so many Spurs fans, have become wearily accustomed. “Not good enough, especially the first half which was way too passive,” fumed Ange following a derby in which only the hosts seemed to go about their business with any additional neighbourly animus. “We allowed Arsenal to take control. I was disappointed with us with and without the ball, allowing them to dictate the tempo. Nowhere near good enough. That’s not who we are. That’s not how I set the team up to play. To be sitting in and allowing Arsenal to play just wasn’t good enough.”
While all available evidence suggests that, despite Ange’s protests to the contrary, “that” is exactly who Spurs are and have been for so long that their very name has become a byword for spinelessness and meek capitulation, but quite how the increasingly frustrated Aussie plans to rid the club of its apparently ingrained loser mentality remains to be seen. With Spurs currently sitting 13th in the table eight points clear of the relegation zone and just one better off than the worst Manchester United team of the past 30 years, he is unlikely to get the chance to try anything unless results improve very quickly.
While Arsenal had knack issues of their own to contend with, their manager and fans were understandably delighted with the performance of Myles Lewis-Skelly, who became their youngest player to start a match against Spurs in 20 years. Far from being overwhelmed, the 18-year-old snapped into tackles, blocked what passed for anything resembling a kitchen sink that Spurs threw at him and crowned a memorable day at the office by winding up Richarlison. “My mum, my grandma, my friends [were at the game],” he tooted before revealing the presence of one relative in particular had kept him motivated. “I had to put on a show for my grandma, to make sure that I did not look soft in front of her. I had to make sure I was winning my tackles for her, and hopefully she is proud of me.”
Expect Ange to issue a flurry of invitations to the nans of assorted Tottenham players before Sunday’s game against Everton if he thinks it might finally shame some of his underperforming stars into a performance that might move them up the table.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
14 January: “I want to try and show that I can go again” – David Moyes reckons he still has the energy to revitalise Everton.
15 January: “I can’t magician all that to change after one and a bit days, I just can’t do it. It’s a huge challenge” – reality hits hard (and fast) after a 1-0 defeat by Aston Villa on his big Goodison homecoming.
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I would never dare doubt the accuracy and reliability of statistics from Big Website, but some of the match stats from the Holsten
PilsKiel v Dortmund game that you directed us to in Wednesday’s News, Bits and Bobs (full email edition) seem more inflated than a Roman Eagle handler’s tackle. By my maths, this works out at a shot every 52 seconds, a corner just shy of every three minutes, and more than a foul every minute. Pity the poor set-piece coaches and magic-sponge carriers, they’ll be needing a second winter break to recover from the exertions” – Neil McGwyre.
I’m not sure I need to get involved in this, but perhaps Thomas Ayre (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) meant to say that Lazio didn’t have the ‘cojones’ to sack the eagle/fascist bloke, rather than ‘cajones’, which would mean they didn’t have the drawers, or possibly coffins. Or maybe, as these are both Spanish, we’d be better off with ‘coglioni’” – Mark Taylor (and 1,056 others).
After Everton’s home defeat on Wednesday, perhaps David Moyes will actually need Leighton Baines to help him find a Pret (Tuesday’s David Squires cartoon) – as he has already lost his way” – Dedric Helgert.
Darian Boyd’s letter o’ the day (yesterday’s letters) for his motorbike-related quip was some Triumph” – Mike Wrall.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Neil McGwyre. Terms and conditions for our competitions – when we have them – can be viewed here.
